My baby girl is getting big so fast! I'd say she's growing like a weed, but weeds grow up tall and skinny and she grows short and round! As much as I've tried to remember every moment, when I look back at the pictures we took of Charlotte when she was only a few days old I can hardly remember her being so small. While I marvel and celebrate each and every one of her developing baby achievements as she interacts more with the world around her, I am almost saddened by each new development that seems to lessen her dependence on me. In the womb her life depended completely on me, and with her birth started a journey that will slowly take her away from that dependence and into a world where she takes care of herself. Even now she can entertain herself (if she knows it or not) with her toys for a while and no longer likes me to hold her in the cradle position. She likes to be held looking out at the world and not at my boring face!
In the same way, I feel as though my life no longer belongs to me but exists in my little girl. How could I have ever conceived the strength my motherly instinct to protect my child? My life lacks importance compared to hers. I steam at every reckless driver on the road who endangers my precious little girl's life. Heading to Baton Rouge on Friday, a huge 18 wheeler (Budweiser) changed lanes at the last moment as it came barreling up behind us; as he flew past us I thought, "If he'd hit us, I'd have killed him." Saturday we watched a train carrying dangerous chemicals and flammable gases amble pass, and I could only think of how close my little girl was to such deadly things.
2 comments:
Very sweet posting, E. You're a fantastic mother and it shows in each and every one of your postings when you talk about Charlotte. I'm amazed at how fast she's growing! Are you secretly feeding her Miracle Grow? ;-)
No Miracle Grow. It must be those breast milk & protein shakes.
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