Mixed Emotions

So today I did something that I haven't done in a long, long, long time - I rocked my little girl to sleep. Normally, she falls asleep on her own in her crib without a problem, but today, after jabbering to herself for an hour, she still hadn't fallen asleep - despite me putting her down for a nap a full 2 hours late. Finally, she started crying and saying, "Uh, oh, fall down!" Which, of course, I can't ignore, and apparently meant, "I can't sleep with this poopy diaper." So I changed her diaper, sang her a song, and just continued to hold and rock her after I finished singing. She leaned over, gave me a kiss, and started slumbering in my arms. I held her as her little body twitched as she fell asleep and wondered how many more times I will get to hold my sleeping little girl in my arms. I held her like a baby as I rocked, because as big as she's getting, she's still my baby, for now.

It's almost bittersweet knowing that this new little baby will take her place as my baby. Sure, Charlotte will always be my baby in a sense, but she's really growing up so fast. I can't help but wonder how many more chances I will have to rock her while she sleeps after this new little one arrives. In January she will take on a whole new roll in this family as the big sister. While I know it will be an adjustment, she'll do great; sometimes I just don't feel that I am ready for her to take on that roll! Where did the time go? What happened to my baby? I can't believe she is almost 2. Crazy.

But I still think she gets cuter and more fun every single day, and am looking forward to meeting this little bug (I have visions of a little boy in my head, anyone else have an opinion?).